In and out of the dark woods these days. The soundtrack is Max Richter’s Sleep with ambulance sirens spiraling in the background. Then, after a few days of disorientation—mind a wild creature filled with guilt and sorrow, limbs aching—light starts to filter through the trees. The woods are less dense, my mind less burdensome, my feet lighter. When I see old friends and we ask how the other is, it’s often “up and down, up and down.” Dark woods, then out of the woods, then back in for a while. The rhythm is unpredictable. 

I’ve sporadically kept a journal since teenage years. So many doodles littering my journal prompted me to allow space for the drawings, so I am using a sketchbook now. I pasted an Edward Gorey picture on the front cover. There is so much to explore in the everyday.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being told to “make an offer” at a yard sale. If I were that little girl, I would take all of the books back to the table and leave.

Every morning, I have the privilege of watching Michael play with Marvin.

When we were little girls, we had a record album “Camp Songs,” and one of the songs was “Children of the Lord.” It went like this….”You’ve got to rise and shine and give God some glory, glory, Rise and shine and give God some glory, glory, Rise and Shine and Give God Some Glory Glory, Children of the Lord.” We were brought up as good little atheists, but that didn’t stop us from belting it out. When I ordered a morning glory muffin the other day at a cafe, I remembered the song and started to sing. Best to sing it loud, in the morning, with a muffin.

One morning, I cycled over to a friend’s place. We sat in her back garden, drank coffee, and ate delicious cherry cake (vegan) made by her daughter. Her little dog Charlie slept. I have great friends.

Surprise! I actually started exercising. Waterfit is kind of fun. I remember going to Aqua Fit at the old YMHA (corner of Bloor and Spadina in Toronto) with my mom so many years ago.

One morning I met Meytal for coffee. Caffe Fantastico, Quadra Village. I wore a black dress I’d bought at Reitman’s for Alex’s Celebration of Life, ten years ago. And a cheap Walmart sunhat. Beautiful Meytal said I looked like a movie star. A sweet lie. Did I mention I have great friends?

On Father’s Day we went for a delicious dinner at Prima Strada. I was intrigued by the first course, a roast vegetable salad (potatoes, zucchini, broccolini, red onion) with fresh ricotta and herbs. So good I’d like to try to replicate it at home. Where can you buy fresh ricotta?

A dream. Nothing more shall be said.

Great to see my sister Kathryn. She broke her hip and cannot put weight on it. So I got to push her down the street. We had fun together.

My friend (old boss) Nancy is 60, but I swear she looks 40. She came for a visit, bearing gifts, which is typical of her generous and loving personality. Again, great friends.

When you’re in the middle of the dark wood, you’ll soon see light again.